A Masterclass in Creative Avoidance

If you want to write, start with the windows

Photo by Dillon Wanner on Unsplash

Now we can get started.

AHEM!

Hello everyone.

It’s come to my attention that many writers have been feeling despondent and hopeless about their writing progress, down on themselves for doing less writing than they imagine is required for success. If that sounds like you, read on, because there’s a good chance that what you’ve been calling procrastination is actually evidence of your instinctual writing genius.

The truth is, there are many things you must get exactly right before you ever share your writing with the rest of the world.

Personally, I have enough unshared writing in my archives to post one article a day, every day, for the next three years.

Why?

Because I spend the proper amount of time preparing for my success.

Yes, my friends. Preparing.

Below, for the first time, I’m publicly sharing the secret list of all the things you must do prior to eventually dominating the landscape as a successful writer.

Before I get into the list, a warning.

Your brain is likely to mount resistance to this list of preparatory guidelines, producing thoughts that masquerade as empowering inner dialogue, telling you such things as:

• I need to stop over-thinking things

• Trust the process

• It’s ok to fail, that’s how you learn

These may seem like reasonable and helpful adult statements, but try to resist drinking the Kool-Aid of easy motivation.

I’ve personally resisted such simplistic advice and have remained focused on the proper preparation I’m about to share below. I recommend you do the same, before you expose your own sublime word-gifts to the rest of humanity.

Pre-Writing Step # 1

Housework

Yes, you heard that right.

Housework people.

Look. If your literal house is not in order, how can you possibly expect clarity and structure to pervade your ideas?

Granted, housework may look like an impediment to the important process of writing, but please, tune in and trust what your instincts are telling you. Notice as you move your fingers toward the keyboard to write, your gut is reflexively tightening and wisely signaling that this is not the right time. There’s something you’ve overlooked, and it’s likely right under your nose.

Just look around.

Is there a bit of lint in the corner of your office? Pull out the vacuum.

Is your garbage pail half full? Take it out to the trash.

Are the windows dirty? Restore your view—and don’t forget to scale your building and wash the outside of them as well.

If you find yourself compelled to clean when you’re supposed to be writing, take heart. This is the instinctual wisdom of your higher self taking charge. It knows that you cannot possibly create original art in an environment that harbors residue from the past. It knows that only a perfectly tuned atmosphere can give rise to the brilliance you hold within.

Is there a crooked portrait on the wall? Get up and straighten it. These are the unerring instincts of any writer with merit.

Do not let those tired old entrepreneurial cliches about focus, direction and purpose derail your execution of these crucial preparatory tasks.

Once you’ve got cleaning momentum you can use it to tackle what’s most important. The rest of the housework. You can attend to bathroom cleaning, dishes, more dusting, lightbulb replacement, touch-up painting and light renovations all before dinner.

Finally, you deserve a several course home cooked meal, leisurely enjoyed, followed by a few vintage Netflix shows to help you unwind from a productive day. This will put you in fine stead for banging out your masterpiece tomorrow.

Pre-Writing Step # 2

Employers, Family, Friends

Every artist must learn to maintain their relationships alongside their artistic vision.

It might feel counter-intuitive to check your phone seventeen times an hour in preparation for writing, but unanswered work messages will certainly impede your creative flow.

And banish the thought that your child could easily walk to school or soccer practice. Spend that 30 minutes in traffic driving them five blocks instead. That’s you being a responsible parent.

Spending two-and-a-half days blindly talking your out-of-state mother through the process of getting her email working again is the right use of your time given all that she has done for you.

All of these activities are actually the bedrock of your writing existence. Such experiences and frustrations are the rich loam of feelings and perceptions that you will later mine in your writing career. So surrender to them.

And if you’re single or live alone, you might be tempted to see this as a golden opportunity to focus on your craft, but remember, relationships are an important part of life. If you’re suffering from the illusion that now is the time to share your writing with the world, wake up!

Now is the time to fill your life with as many people as possible so you can tend to the needs, emergencies, scrapes, bruises, and demands of other humans. Everyone you know should feel perfectly happy, healthy, whole, and fulfilled before you turn your full attention to the process of writing.

If no one depends upon you currently—puppies, fish, and houseplants can provide a healthy counter-ballast to the creative process which requires the anchor of real life to keep you grounded, practical, and humble.

Pre-Writing Step # 3

Your Psychological Health and Personal Growth

To actually publish words that you’ve written without first completely purging yourself of all neurosis, inner confusion, anxiety, doubts and mother issues is frankly irresponsible.

You can’t possibly expect to succeed as a writer and to pass along a communication that has integrity if you haven’t first worked through ALL of your own stuff.

Therapy is an excellent preparatory activity, an almost perfect mirror for what you’ll need to navigate as a writer. First of all, the process is a long, groping-in-the-dark journey with no clear finish line or conclusion in sight. There will be many questions you can’t answer, doubts you’ll need to set aside as you carry on, and a disturbing sense that you’re not really getting anywhere. This is perfect preparation for your career as a writer.

As your therapy progresses you might even find yourself getting into a flow of writing at some point, but you must guard against a premature sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem that could result in confidently submitting something you wrote before you’re entirely scrubbed clean of your faults. Stick with that therapy.

Once your mental health is stable, you’re ready to enter the world of courses.

Thankfully, the availability of online writing courses that cover fiction and non-fiction, advanced technique, marketing, style, voice, and business writing has never been greater. Fortunately, this body of knowledge grows every day. A good rule of thumb is to spend approximately seven percent more than your food and housing costs on writing courses, groups, programs, apps, and tools. For best results, start several courses at a time and attempt to engage them simultaneously.

The confusion and overwhelm you will feel anchors the fundamental sense of suffering from which your best tortured art will eventually spring.

In Conclusion

There you have it my friends.

Follow this roadmap and you’ll be perfectly prepared to eventually one day, when you’re ready, perhaps when you feel like it, at some time in the undetermined future, maybe, actually start submitting and/or independently publishing your writing for the world to see.

As a final note—there is only one type of person who ought to skip this list and should in fact disregard it entirely, moving directly to sharing their writing with others. There are so few of this variety of writers it’s practically not even worth mentioning. You’ll know if you’re one of these people by a small palpable stirring you will feel in your gut that compels you to write and publish prior to addressing all of what is mentioned above.

Research has finally shown that the cause and culprit here, possibly produced by an errant or imbalanced chemical malfunction in the endocrine system, is a particularly rare human substance that goes by the scientific name of bravery.

If you are one of the rare few who feel it, despite the proliferation of technological advancements that have mostly cleansed or eliminated its occurrence, there is apparently no cure for you but to publish before you’re ready.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

I hope you can find something to write about.