I'm Not Sure if I Belong Here

You might want to decide before I send out my 100th newsletter

Photo by Stephen Phillips - Hostreviews.co.uk on Unsplash

Hi.

If you’re a subscriber, you found me right here in your inbox.

I’m looking around at the rest of your emails. Dang. There’s all sorts of stuff in here. And so much of it is unread. You seriously need to unsubscribe from some of these senders. And I’m willing to accept that I might be one of them.

You might be on my list because you saw me speak at an event, or you read one of my notes on Substack, or another author who you follow recommended me and you signed up.

I’m guessing at this point you can’t even remember how you got on my list. While I’m hurt you don’t remember how we met at that dinner party when I begged you to sign up to my blog and then you told me you had to go because your dog suddenly got sick—I’m also a realist, and realize that it’s a good time for us to review whether we’re suited to each other. But after looking at the chaos of your inbox, I think we might be a fit. Your feed looks a lot like my brain on a good day.

So why should you stick around?

Two years ago I set a goal for myself.

I decided that I wanted to write and publish a story from my personal life experience every week for 100 weeks in a row.

At that point I’d written randomly with no set schedule. I’d written about my fear of people despite being a public speaker, about how being bullied as a kid turned me into a lone wolf, about how unqualified I feel to be a parent, and how I obsess over the way my family does the dishes at home and judge them for doing it much worse than me. And then I noticed that this kind of reflection and review starting shifting and changing my experience—softening and evolving my actions and behavior in the wake writing about them.

Other people were also telling me how helpful it was to hear these experiences shared honestly and out loud, because as it turns out, many of them were not just personal, they were human.

So, I was very curious what might happen if I made a commitment to write, reflect, and share for 100 weeks in a row.

This very article that you’re reading is my 99th issue in that unbroken 100 week commitment. If you’ve been with me that whole time, thank you! If you’re just joining in—you’re about to get the best of the whole series.

Today, I have a very different life than the one I had almost two years ago. There’s a lot of recent neuroscientific research that shows we possess a great deal of neuroplasticity. That’s the ability to rewire how we process information and even the identities we use to navigate our lives. For example, I recently had this revelation.

I’m completely convinced that reviewing one’s personal stories, and listening to the personal stories of others, assists us all in the process of evolving. In fact, there’s an official therapeutic modality dedicated to that idea. It’s called narrative therapy. That’s for real. You can look it up.

And I’m proud to share the real healing that I’ve enjoyed in this process.

Next week, I’m going to share what’s changed for me as a result of this 100 week experiment.

It’s a longer story, so this week I’m keeping it shorter so you can use the extra time to get all caught up and then come sit by your computer with baited breath, poised to pounce on my next installment. Now that you’re aware of this news, I’m sure my story will be a top priority for you. Likely a number of you will cancel vacations, delay medical appointments, and stock up on popcorn—all in anticipation of my next newsletter hitting your inbox.

I know, it’s SO exciting, right!?

But it would be okay with me while you’re waiting if you got rid of a few of these other annoying messages in your email feed that I have to compete with every week.

And, if we’re not a fit, and you feel the need to get rid of me, that’s okay too.

It will shred my intestines, but also, it will give me a chance for further self-reflection. I’ll meditate on why I care so darn much what other people who I have never met think about me and my writing.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Ah.

You’re still here!

Hallelujah, and thank you.

Awesome.

Stay tuned then for the next exciting, revelatory, perfectly crafted, riveting, hilarious, enlightening, recipe filled, tax saving, non-toxic, whale saving, and all natural issue— number . . .

100!

Honestly Yours,

*If you have been here a while, and you’ve been enjoying the stories, and you haven’t commented before, I’d love to hear from you.