This is such a beautifully reflective piece which is tender, insightful, and deeply human. I love how it moves from the chaos of sirens and family chatter to the quiet grace of your mother’s presence. It’s a reminder that wisdom often sits silently in the corner, steady and luminous, showing us what really matters.
Now, about the bagel experience. For me, they must always be well-toasted. That, and there's never enough cream cheese. ♥
Nice overview of the crux of this essay, Matthew. Rick is a really wonderful writer.
As for "cream cheese": a true aficionado calls that "schmeer." And let's not forget the lox! (I have a Jewish background, which supposedly makes me an expert...)
Very kind of you Matthew. Thank you. I've always been of the same ilk re toasting, until I found the real deal Bagelry here in town. First time I've been able to have a fresh untoasted bagel and actually prefer it that way. Especially cinnamon raisin. Oh boy.
Ahh, thank you for a wonderful mental movie of your family together. In similar situations I increasingly find myself floating up in the room to just treasure the whole song and dance we are in together in this life.
That sounds amazing Bob. I wish I were that buoyant! Thanks for taking in my scene. How many people show up to your family gatherings? And more importantly, what bagels fixings are on the table?
Once again, your Presence enters my day like an unexpected snowball, bringing me back to a life of presence, a life of now. My favorite sentence? Of course: "It’s the listeners who sometimes remind us that having no opinion is the greatest gift we can bring to a conversation." It speaks so loudly in its own Silence, I won't even expound upon it.
Thank you so much for this piece-- for all of it, for the bringing me back to my own culture. Me? I know you didn't ask, but I prefer onion bagels the best, thank you.
Well done, Rick. Can be a tricky balance on how to best spend time with older parents, esp when they don’t want to be reminded of it. They just want to be with their family, during normal time. And the holidays are normal and Sunday meals are normal… until they’re not. And then part of you regrets spending a moment on robot umpires… but you remember that’s all part of normal time.
It’s a blessing your mom’s dementia is not progressing too rapidly, gives her and the family time together. It’s cliche for a reason, enjoy the time today. Thanks for writing about this.
That's a mantra I could do well to adopt Matt, "it's all part of normal time," indeed. I remember listening to a lecture years ago by James Hillman unpacking the myth of normal in the minds of western culture. Norman Rockwell had his genius, but he also trapped the expectations of many in a fantasy scene that we expected we ought to have.
You so masterfully distinguish between the chaos of differing opinions – the blaring sirens approaching from all directions – and the calm, wise equanimity of your mother. As she trusts those in your family to pick up the cognitive pieces that get left behind, anyone paying attention will also trust that, when the time comes, you'll be the one sitting in that blue chair, watching, waiting, staying in the present moment ...
And, at least for now, it's okay to dive into a nice debate, even as the volume escalates.
This is such a beautifully reflective piece which is tender, insightful, and deeply human. I love how it moves from the chaos of sirens and family chatter to the quiet grace of your mother’s presence. It’s a reminder that wisdom often sits silently in the corner, steady and luminous, showing us what really matters.
Now, about the bagel experience. For me, they must always be well-toasted. That, and there's never enough cream cheese. ♥
Nice overview of the crux of this essay, Matthew. Rick is a really wonderful writer.
As for "cream cheese": a true aficionado calls that "schmeer." And let's not forget the lox! (I have a Jewish background, which supposedly makes me an expert...)
A Jewish background, eh? Is that one of the options on Zoom?
Yes indeedy!
Yes, I too am a member of the Tribe. Bagels don’t exist in a world without Nova/lox, schmear, capers, sweet onion, etc.
Very kind of you Matthew. Thank you. I've always been of the same ilk re toasting, until I found the real deal Bagelry here in town. First time I've been able to have a fresh untoasted bagel and actually prefer it that way. Especially cinnamon raisin. Oh boy.
* Oh dear, cinnamon & raisin? Those bagels have identity issues.
Ya, well, me too.
Ahh, thank you for a wonderful mental movie of your family together. In similar situations I increasingly find myself floating up in the room to just treasure the whole song and dance we are in together in this life.
That sounds amazing Bob. I wish I were that buoyant! Thanks for taking in my scene. How many people show up to your family gatherings? And more importantly, what bagels fixings are on the table?
Once again, your Presence enters my day like an unexpected snowball, bringing me back to a life of presence, a life of now. My favorite sentence? Of course: "It’s the listeners who sometimes remind us that having no opinion is the greatest gift we can bring to a conversation." It speaks so loudly in its own Silence, I won't even expound upon it.
Thank you so much for this piece-- for all of it, for the bringing me back to my own culture. Me? I know you didn't ask, but I prefer onion bagels the best, thank you.
ha ha, thank you Amba and I am making note of your order. Would you like cream cheese with that?
Well done, Rick. Can be a tricky balance on how to best spend time with older parents, esp when they don’t want to be reminded of it. They just want to be with their family, during normal time. And the holidays are normal and Sunday meals are normal… until they’re not. And then part of you regrets spending a moment on robot umpires… but you remember that’s all part of normal time.
It’s a blessing your mom’s dementia is not progressing too rapidly, gives her and the family time together. It’s cliche for a reason, enjoy the time today. Thanks for writing about this.
That's a mantra I could do well to adopt Matt, "it's all part of normal time," indeed. I remember listening to a lecture years ago by James Hillman unpacking the myth of normal in the minds of western culture. Norman Rockwell had his genius, but he also trapped the expectations of many in a fantasy scene that we expected we ought to have.
You so masterfully distinguish between the chaos of differing opinions – the blaring sirens approaching from all directions – and the calm, wise equanimity of your mother. As she trusts those in your family to pick up the cognitive pieces that get left behind, anyone paying attention will also trust that, when the time comes, you'll be the one sitting in that blue chair, watching, waiting, staying in the present moment ...
And, at least for now, it's okay to dive into a nice debate, even as the volume escalates.
Well done, as always!
Yes, still learning to appreciate the debate. Thanks Larry.