I cannot even begin to imagine the gleeful look on your “volunteer’s” face when he exacted his revenge and the look of horror in yours. But as always, you look deeper and understand the importance “that freedom is something we give to another person when we witness and honor who they are rather than something we take for ourselves because we happen to have the power to do so.” Beautiful piece, Rick.
I’ve imagined his expression many times Dana, but I never saw it. It was a “hit and run” accident and I was too busy recovering the last bits of my dignity to see him sneaking away. It might be one of the best acts of retaliation ever.
Rick! I love how you tell this story. I find myself loving the guy, the volunteer. He's your brother, it seems, showing up from out of the blue, and disappearing again. The two of you engage in an intimate power struggle of persuasion and dominance, each of you learning so precisely about your own responsibility and agency in the process. I'll bet that guy continues to savor and learn from it as you have. Amazing how we can share such significant moments in our lives with strangers who show up and then disappear.
The intimacy of power struggle. I had never thought of it this way Alden, but you're right, power struggles are a deep act of looking for lawful footing in relationship with one another. You've always got such a beautiful way of pointing at the potential in a circumstance.
“Freedom is something we give to another person when we witness and honor who they are rather than something we take for ourselves because we happen to have the power to do so.”
You make a really good point. In actuality I've playfully insisted that reluctant volunteers join me on stage many times before and actually been thanked by those people for getting them over the hump because they had such a good time
Oh my... what a moment (life lessons are often laden with humor that only becomes apparent when we've absorbed the heart of the teaching moment -- which you seem to have done in spades). "With freedom comes responsibility," my father always reminded me whenever I asked for privileges beyond my ability to manage such liberty. And in the case of this story (bravely told, I must add), it seems that what we were also exploring was power -- its use, its enticement, and its misuse (something the ego specializes in). To quote a friend, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
This comment is so full of rich perspectives Chris. That humor arrives as an echo back after the challenge of a moment and the fact the ego, or our sense of separation to be more exact, specializes in the misuse of power. Your capacity to draw forth such insights speaks to the foundation you describe being given by a father wise enough to draw distinctions about freedom and the use of power. May the distinction between "can" and "should" be more frequently exercised by those of us with power.
…happy independence day…remember this story and always brutal to hear it…the cringe is that small slipped slope in communication where one believes something is what it isn’t…boundaries completely missed…reminds me of certain conversations i’ve had with strangers where sarcasms lead to bad feelings or worse…you might say you both won here, or that you both lost, either way the communication was broken beyond this retrospection and any takeaways either of you have…would be funny to hear him tell the story…i wonder if it was fleeting or a memory…
hadn't considered from this angle, that's a fascinating thought, like is this a story that he's still telling over and over to his friends today, or something he's entirely repressed or forgotten? is he proud to have mounted a response, or does he feel remorse that he did?
Thank you for the kind endorsement Simon. There is so much value in re-visiting significant life moments and re-telling the story. Always new gifts and insights in the experience to discover and explore. It's especially worthwhile to tell the same story to a new audience, because when you look at how your life experience might be useful to another specific type of person it draws forth new perspectives.
Rick, I'm shocked that you didn't finish your routine with your shorts around your ankles. Think of the bump in revenue!!
All kidding aside – and this has been referenced in other comments here as well, but it bears repeating – the following thought really says it all: "Freedom is something we give to another person when we witness and honor who they are rather than something we take for ourselves because we happen to have the power to do so." As Latham noted in a recent essay, this certainly applies to great leaders.
Yes, I remember your antics well, back then... I was ocassionally so anxious (for the victim) that I couldn't watch. Now, that's Show Business! You earned your hatfuls of money...
Ha ha, this happened way after the voluntary exposure. I pulled up my drawers, tightened the drawstring real good, and went on with the show. Stopping would have made me feel worse.
I cannot even begin to imagine the gleeful look on your “volunteer’s” face when he exacted his revenge and the look of horror in yours. But as always, you look deeper and understand the importance “that freedom is something we give to another person when we witness and honor who they are rather than something we take for ourselves because we happen to have the power to do so.” Beautiful piece, Rick.
I’ve imagined his expression many times Dana, but I never saw it. It was a “hit and run” accident and I was too busy recovering the last bits of my dignity to see him sneaking away. It might be one of the best acts of retaliation ever.
Rick! I love how you tell this story. I find myself loving the guy, the volunteer. He's your brother, it seems, showing up from out of the blue, and disappearing again. The two of you engage in an intimate power struggle of persuasion and dominance, each of you learning so precisely about your own responsibility and agency in the process. I'll bet that guy continues to savor and learn from it as you have. Amazing how we can share such significant moments in our lives with strangers who show up and then disappear.
The intimacy of power struggle. I had never thought of it this way Alden, but you're right, power struggles are a deep act of looking for lawful footing in relationship with one another. You've always got such a beautiful way of pointing at the potential in a circumstance.
“Freedom is something we give to another person when we witness and honor who they are rather than something we take for ourselves because we happen to have the power to do so.”
Really love this. Epic story.
Happy Independence Day!
Ditto Kathy! That line about Freedom is a keeper! And yes, the hubris of our younger selves Rick. Love this story Rick.
Thanks Linda
Thank you Kathy.
Great reminder to respect the dual relationship with rights (freedom) and duty (protect the freedom of others)
I wonder if there is a counter example when pushing actually worked out for the better?
I sometimes think rules (or how things are supposed to be) are so malleable that it's worth trying your luck.
As long as no one's getting hurt of course :)
You make a really good point. In actuality I've playfully insisted that reluctant volunteers join me on stage many times before and actually been thanked by those people for getting them over the hump because they had such a good time
Love this story. The combination of humor and horror -- all tightly woven, amidst a life lesson!
Thanks Genie. Maybe that should be my new tagline for Honestly Human, the humor and horror : )
Oh my... what a moment (life lessons are often laden with humor that only becomes apparent when we've absorbed the heart of the teaching moment -- which you seem to have done in spades). "With freedom comes responsibility," my father always reminded me whenever I asked for privileges beyond my ability to manage such liberty. And in the case of this story (bravely told, I must add), it seems that what we were also exploring was power -- its use, its enticement, and its misuse (something the ego specializes in). To quote a friend, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
This comment is so full of rich perspectives Chris. That humor arrives as an echo back after the challenge of a moment and the fact the ego, or our sense of separation to be more exact, specializes in the misuse of power. Your capacity to draw forth such insights speaks to the foundation you describe being given by a father wise enough to draw distinctions about freedom and the use of power. May the distinction between "can" and "should" be more frequently exercised by those of us with power.
…happy independence day…remember this story and always brutal to hear it…the cringe is that small slipped slope in communication where one believes something is what it isn’t…boundaries completely missed…reminds me of certain conversations i’ve had with strangers where sarcasms lead to bad feelings or worse…you might say you both won here, or that you both lost, either way the communication was broken beyond this retrospection and any takeaways either of you have…would be funny to hear him tell the story…i wonder if it was fleeting or a memory…
hadn't considered from this angle, that's a fascinating thought, like is this a story that he's still telling over and over to his friends today, or something he's entirely repressed or forgotten? is he proud to have mounted a response, or does he feel remorse that he did?
This is such a good story! And although I had read it before in your book, there was a freshness to your retelling of it.
I heartily recommend that people take the opportunity to grab a copy of your book.
Thank you for the kind endorsement Simon. There is so much value in re-visiting significant life moments and re-telling the story. Always new gifts and insights in the experience to discover and explore. It's especially worthwhile to tell the same story to a new audience, because when you look at how your life experience might be useful to another specific type of person it draws forth new perspectives.
"Witness and honor".
Thanks for sharing this story, and your words.
My pleasure Nica. I appreciate your comment very much.
Rick, I'm shocked that you didn't finish your routine with your shorts around your ankles. Think of the bump in revenue!!
All kidding aside – and this has been referenced in other comments here as well, but it bears repeating – the following thought really says it all: "Freedom is something we give to another person when we witness and honor who they are rather than something we take for ourselves because we happen to have the power to do so." As Latham noted in a recent essay, this certainly applies to great leaders.
Thanks Larry. Regarding the bump in revenue, you make an incorrect assumption about my existing assets.
pivotal insight. Give vs take. Dynamic shift. Reverse . Thx Rick!
Thanks. There's always treasure buried inside our life stories. It's fun to go looking for it.
Yes, I remember your antics well, back then... I was ocassionally so anxious (for the victim) that I couldn't watch. Now, that's Show Business! You earned your hatfuls of money...
Ah, the hubris of youth. Half wish I still had it, half relieved I made it out alive.
Now I wonder how you have managed the situation after his revenge!
Did this happen before the story where you showed up to a party only dressed with a belt? (Thats a strange thing to ask, isn't it?
Ha ha, this happened way after the voluntary exposure. I pulled up my drawers, tightened the drawstring real good, and went on with the show. Stopping would have made me feel worse.