38 Comments
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Kathy Ayers's avatar

This is beautiful, a MasterClass in words. I’m letting it sink in. It’s like it gives me flight also.

Hope you didn’t mind my being there in the middle of you two walking with you each step of the way ingesting the exquisiteness.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

I was more hoping that others didn't me mind sharing the personal moment. It was a bit of experiment further into an intimate direction than I've gone before, but I wanted to write something that had the same simplicity that I experienced in that moment. Thank you for respectfully ingesting.

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Wendy Varley's avatar

What a wonderful connection to have, Rick.

I’ve been with my partner 39 years and holding his hand gives me a similar sense of reassurance and continuity.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Thank you Wendy. Lucky are we for good company.

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Larry Urish's avatar

This is such a great reminder about the basic, elemental power of human touch. And I love the way you bookend this essay with the cherry blossoms.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Didn't think about it that way, but of course, yes, that's what this is about.

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Dominik Gmeiner's avatar

“the honeymoon of their fragrance passed” this is such a wonderful description. A found body six sentence word.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Thanks Dominik.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

This is stunning:

"Just weeks ago the trees in front of our house were covered in cherry blossoms. They’d all since fallen, the honeymoon of their fragrance passed, but there was still clustered evidence of decaying petals on the ground where they had swirled into piles like pink snow."

So well written. And I don't think people talk often enough about this flavor of insecurity that still persists even in stable long term relationships. Thanks for sharing this!

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Rick Lewis's avatar

I really appreciate your endorsement that this subject is worth talking about. In fact, there are so many expectations around long term relationships that are worth interrogating and getting more honest about.

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Claire Coley's avatar

Ahh Rick. What a wonderful moment in time with the small flashbacks to old times. Really enjoyed it.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Than you Claire.

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Linda Kaun's avatar

so sweet. so touching. so simple. life can be.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Thank you so much Linda. That was just the mood I was hoping to share.

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Simon Emslie's avatar

I was smiling all the way through reading this, Rick. Such a beautiful moment you shared. But I also just love your eye (ear, and nose) for detail. Little gems like “the stale odor of old goalie gear” and “the only visible part of a Golden Retriever”. Delightful!

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Very kind of you Simon, but it's hard to miss the detail of the goalie gear, even in distant memory.

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Emily Brooke Felt's avatar

This is so endearing Rick. I'm so glad you posted this story. I think these simple moments, are one of the most beautiful parts of relationships, especially long relationships where we've had multiple repetitions of experiences together. It's very touching that holding hands is something that has accompanied you and your wife through so many experiences.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Thank you Emily. It feels more important than ever to hold on to the simple moments.

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Sarina Zoe's avatar

I really enjoyed the simplicity and beauty of this Rick. Also, it was a beautiful insight into how a man often hesitates when he wants to invite intimacy, your description of scanning your wife’s face for clues… my partner has mentioned this hesitation before and I’d sort of brushed past it, but your reminder has made me come back around and acknowledge the importance of his experience in these moments, so thank you.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

This is an example of why commenting is so profound, and I thank you for this. I debated about writing and posting this story, but when another person lets you know that an expression has made a small difference and opened something useful or new it reverses the habit of withholding. You've added another pebble of courage side to the better side of my psychic scale, tipping it a little further in the direction of taking the risk to share. Thank you for telling me this Sarina.

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Rob Tourtelot's avatar

Beautiful, my friend. This was so cinematic, and I can't tell you how much I relate to this:

"She’s loyal, trusting, and low maintenance. My attachment style is more insecure and anxious, requiring more reassurance and approval to maintain the sense that all is good in our world."

Describes my marriage to a T. I'm sure glad we both found such chill, stable partners.

This description will really stay with me: "Hands have their own intelligence, and ours were navigating the business of connection without seeking permission or direction from either of us."

I love this whole story told through such beautiful descriptions of this seemingly every day thing, holding hands—how much is going on through this simple gesture. I'm so heartened by this sweetly profound, evocative story. Really lovely.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Thank you Rob. As usual, I'm always surprised myself upon exploring small moments and interactions with how much there is to relish or celebrate, but just like the primary relationship dynamic we share, we're also brothers in the discovery process that writing is. Which is why your friendship is dear to me.

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Alden Cox's avatar

Beautifully, tenderly done, Rick, with masterful attention to the range of authentic detail within the experience. Loving/being loved is a both/and process; it wouldn't exist without the vulnerability. No inhale without exhale, no exhale without inhale. Savoring that contact, hand to hand, is a whole conversation in itself, longing and being met, seeking warmth and offering strength, holding on and relaxing within the grasp. Thanks so much for this. The potency of simple pleasures is immeasurable.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

I didn't even occur to me until seeing your comment here how much this relates to the pleasure conversation you've been hosting. And what of the pleasure of detail? There is so much more I could have described and added that I noticed about this walk, my capacity of noticing heightened by the pleasure of connection. That's why writing is such a joy, or reading good writing, because the simple pleasure of having senses and an entire world to exercise them upon is such a gift, and worth acknowledging and celebrating through the act of sharing.

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The Show Must Go On's avatar

Don’t plant the ivy. It’s a super weed, unless you go scorched earth later, you’ll never be rid of it! Although it might make for a good story later on…

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Rick Lewis's avatar

That was part of the idea, to overtake the other weeds with something more attractive, but we'll consider this more carefully on our next walk. : )

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Brigitte Kratz's avatar

Such splendid Sunday sweetness. About the intelligence of hands (and hearts). Thank you.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Thank you Brigitte

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Christopher Harding's avatar

Truly lovely! I can totally relate and it's one of the best things in the world.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Ah, thanks Chris. Glad to have your good company in appreciation of the simplicity.

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Dana Allen's avatar

You are truly and utterly loved and I love how you express that in this piece xx

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Many thanks Dana for your kindness and support.

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