“Like many of us, the primary reverb I experience today is the deep cellular fear that rising to my best will result in shame and humiliation.”
This line stopped me. It’s such a precise and powerful truth and one that so many of us carry without realizing how much it shapes our silence. It reminded me of those social experiments that ask people to do something absurd—like lie down on the floor of a busy coffee shop—just to build resilience to social fear. But what you model here, in your daily practice and in this piece, is a far more generous version of that. You're facing the fear not for its own sake, but to connect more deeply, uplift others, and make something useful.
The essay is not only insightful, it’s actionable, kind, and needed. And what struck me most is how the advice you offer is backed by your own story and the living proof of the community you’ve built. The very fact that you could curate such a range of comments from others is a testament to the power of the path you’re inviting us to walk.
Thank you for this. And in the spirit of no silent appreciation, I’ll share a few comments that have stuck with me as well ◡̈
Fantastic Rachel. Especially love the shared comment. Re gaining courage and stepping past social fears, this opportunity to comment in public is such a perfect place to expand our sense of courage, connection, and generosity. It wasn't easy at first, but the impact over time has been profound for me. I'd love nothing more than to see others share in that bounty, just like the quality of connection I have felt and enjoyed with you here, forged completely through sharing our words. Thank you for the wonderful comment and your samples.
Rachel, One of the things I so love about your writing is how it helps me see the world through this lens of the interplay of masculine and feminine energies that I’m exploring.
“What Patricia discovers beneath those branches isn’t just botanical knowledge. It's a way of knowing itself.” (This is really our whole brain/body knowing… using both channels of information, not only one.)
“She doesn’t understand the forest by extracting pieces to study in isolation.” (This is the task of the masculine channel- isolating, differentiating, zeroing in, defining. It’s still a valid form of knowing- just not the only one.)
“She learns through participation, through the entanglement of her senses with the living world.” (Here’s the feminine channel of cooperation, networking, seeing the commonality, direct experience.)
Her body itself becomes the instrument of understanding. (This is how we Know both of these aspects Through our own bodies… these two different yet complementary channels of information are working inside each of us, as well as the whole universe, all the time. But we’ve been trained to value only half of ourselves. )
"the mind is not confined to the brain. Instead, cognition arises from the dynamic interplay of brain, body, and environment. How we perceive, learn, and make sense of reality emerges not from the brain alone but from this constant interaction." (Yes, it's us becoming Consciously Whole.)
Thank you for another stunning journey through your own lenses of literature, science/brain info and psychology. It enriches my life.
This may be your most impactful essay yet; or at least to me. I shared many lines with a family member going through a tough time right now. When we can learn to lighten our load and lay down the parts of us that weigh us down mentally and physically, only then can we feel still ourselves but liberated and free. Thank you for this.
My goodness, that first sentence! And: "we master the performance of self-sufficiency, wearing independence like armor." You've captured so well the emotional turbulence triggered when people we love - who love us (or are supposed to love us) - pull away or pass away. I had to pass this one on to a friend of mine who is dealing with the loss of several relationships, and it hit home to me as well. Once again, fine writing and exceptional use of a novel to bring life to the science.
Writing is quite the lonely sport. The community is what I’ve enjoyed most about the various writing courses I’ve been in. When describing my substack to non writers in my extended family who mostly see this as a waste of time when I could be taking a nap I often say it’s like screaming into the void. But every now and then, just when you feel like giving up you hear a scream (comment) back. And that gives you the energy to keep on going.
Thank you Rick for highlighting what is for me the fav part of Substack - the comments section.
Very glad to hear this and to know you find yourself in good company with this practice and process. It's very similar to sharing food, which is of course your "jam". The more we share what we're consuming the more nourishment it delivers.
I chanced upon my own version when I barcecued chicken tikkas but being Asian I made enough for the neighbourhood but only a few drunken folk showed up and, being English, gorged on dry sausages to line their stomachs to drink some more. I was left with a bowlful of perfectly charred chicken pieces. I cried a little. Next day, I made my makhani sauce and added them... Oh my word it was divine. So that's how I now do it (when I can be bothered to fire up the bbq, obvs)
I love comments that describe a process of invention or discovery. It's a reminder of how participating in the victories and vicissitudes of life are what create magic on our path.
I actually emailed this post to Derek Sivers and ended up meeting him in Wellington. Perhaps one of my most insightful conversations of my life.
By Diana:
I related so hard when you mentioned the praise of someone complimenting your cooking, but you know all you did was follow a recipe to the letter. It happens to me often, and I always cringe because I don't think I deserve the praise. Like, I didn't develop this recipe, I just made sure to cook the ingredients in the order prescribed. As someone who relies (perhaps over-relies) on written recipes, I am trying to break free from their tyranny and let my cooking be more loose and instinctive.
Rick, you make such an eloquent, well-thought-out case for commenting on the work of others here on Substack. Your own situation – when you took contrary action and made a quick comment, and how it's had such a far-reaching, positive impact – is a super example. And I like the way you deconstruct the various types of comments, in a very creative manner, to help and encourage others to do the same.
I appreciate you – NOT silently!! – and all that you've done, both here on Substack and on Write Hearted.
Thank you Larry, your audible appreciation is a foundation for me here on Substack. Your reliable support is a major twig in the nest of my community. (Ok, well some metaphors turn our better than others.) : )
How could I possibly not comment on such informative and practical tools for commenting? Let this meager comment stand as a comment on how wonderful your Comment Leadership skills are.
Rick, how to respond? With comment type 2: a “Love-This Comment”.
I love this essay and your super helpful list. You’ve tapped into two fears I’ve experienced. First, there’s that hesitation to add a comment in webinar chat box or put my hand up to ask a question.
And then that feeling I often get when I come to an essay after lots of people have left such detailed and eloquent comments and I wonder if there’s anything I can add to match their appreciation. Your essay is such a good reminder that a simple thank you can be just as meaningful to the author.
So, in fact, I’m reaching for comment type 3 as well: this was just what I needed to hear. Thank you 🙏
So glad Simon. I always appreciate your comments, not just on my articles, but what you add to the conversations of other authors as well. You always seem to have an additional point of value to add that's useful and legitimate.
I’m reminded of the early days of blogging, when comments seemed to be much more of the norm. Of course, some of that was dubious attempts to get link back google juice. Comments are returning as the remake the web to be cozy again. This post should be part of an email series to new substack app downloads.
ha ha, thanks Bob. Can you call up one of your buddies in the Substack front office and put a word in for me? With your network of contacts I assume you got a 2nd or 3rd degree separation from somebody over there.
Gosh, I'm trying to think of (and use) a comment strategy that you haven't illustrated here! XD
There is actually so much inner goodness in this post. It's all about making people feel heard and acknowledged. That is so vulnerable and pure. Given the person you are, I suppose vulnerability (and understanding those emotions) comes easy to you!
We could all do a little more to be like you Rick. Keep inspiring :)
Thank you Ishan. I'm sure there are MANY more ways to comment that fall into other buckets, but just being ourselves and a little less of a darn critic of our own thoughts and expressions is really all we need. The categories were just to provide some ideas for anyone who feels a little stuck.
Relieved to know I’m not the only one suffering from comment anxiety and vowing to do a better job of acknowledging when I get something of value from a writer. Thanks for the encouragement.
Thank you Rob. Even those of us who practice it a lot still face the fear of it sometimes, but with persistence it becomes like a stick in the path that is mistaken for a snake, after a while even though the initial fear comes up, you learn it's safe to step over the emotional obstacle.
Comment anxiety, to a writer, is akin to a reader having a solid gold bar in their hands and wanting to give it to the writer they’ve just read but they’re afraid to. Comments are like gold bars.
ok, Rick, you definitely are the man of the hour. How is it that you do what you do?? You support us at Write Hearted, you raise a family, make a living AND come up with astonishing work like this?? It never occurred to me to think of commenting in all these different categories . I will be saving this post to refer back to to make my commenting even more interesting and encouraging. Thank you friend, for being so diligent and consistently creative in all that you do. Go TEAM RICK!
That's incredibly kind of you Dana. I'm truly lifted up by this. I think the engaging with so many people here on Substack has been giving me more and more resolve to help and encourage in any way I can. It's comments like this that tell me I can make a difference and once you're feeling that possibility there's a tremendous source of fuel available to do good work, because instead of generating it internally it's being given to you by a community. I'm so glad that you're part of it.
Adjusting my perspective to remember that comments are the feedback I can provide to the author helps. Because, in the end, we are all trying to produce something great that helps everyone grow.
So thanks for this post, it's helping me be braver to comment.
Thank you for stepping forward to offer this comment here Nahiely, I appreciate you courage and I agree, we're all trying to produce what is helpful, so when someone tells us so we get to see where on the right track. So much better than guessing!
I thoroughly enjoy your writing. So thanks for this one. And I hope you get lots of comments as a result. So when they come pouring in, please remember you brought this on yourself!
he he, yes, I needed to remind myself of exactly that sitting down to respond to the comments today. But what a pleasure it is to be able to engage in conversation like this. Thank you for being a reader, subscriber, and now commenter Adam!
I'm laughing at how well done this post is. I mean who writes about the art of leaving comments and then shares examples of people's artful comments that make your point? You do! Billiant!
P.S - I wanted to add that aside from all the 'comment categories' fun, your writing on this post is gold! So specific, visual and I want to say... delicious?
A few extracts below:
"participating in the river of the fast-moving chat space"
"the primary reverb I experience today is the deep cellular fear that rising to my best will result in shame and humiliation"
"immediate fear that my comment was going to look like an alien spaceship touching down in the middle of a Tupperware party"
That's my favourite kind of happy... when I feel the deliciousness of an unexpected phrase I've written or see a part where my colour use or brush stroke feels just right, my 6yr old self feels so self-satisfied.
The GOAT commenter on Substack!
Thanks Jeff!
Agreed, Jeff!
Personifying Comment Type #13: GOAT indeed!!
ha ha, I had to go look up what #13 was. : )
“Like many of us, the primary reverb I experience today is the deep cellular fear that rising to my best will result in shame and humiliation.”
This line stopped me. It’s such a precise and powerful truth and one that so many of us carry without realizing how much it shapes our silence. It reminded me of those social experiments that ask people to do something absurd—like lie down on the floor of a busy coffee shop—just to build resilience to social fear. But what you model here, in your daily practice and in this piece, is a far more generous version of that. You're facing the fear not for its own sake, but to connect more deeply, uplift others, and make something useful.
The essay is not only insightful, it’s actionable, kind, and needed. And what struck me most is how the advice you offer is backed by your own story and the living proof of the community you’ve built. The very fact that you could curate such a range of comments from others is a testament to the power of the path you’re inviting us to walk.
Thank you for this. And in the spirit of no silent appreciation, I’ll share a few comments that have stuck with me as well ◡̈
Fantastic Rachel. Especially love the shared comment. Re gaining courage and stepping past social fears, this opportunity to comment in public is such a perfect place to expand our sense of courage, connection, and generosity. It wasn't easy at first, but the impact over time has been profound for me. I'd love nothing more than to see others share in that bounty, just like the quality of connection I have felt and enjoyed with you here, forged completely through sharing our words. Thank you for the wonderful comment and your samples.
https://fragmentsofhumanity.substack.com/p/thinking-with-the-forest/comments
Linda Kaun
Linda’s Substack
Jun 18
Rachel, One of the things I so love about your writing is how it helps me see the world through this lens of the interplay of masculine and feminine energies that I’m exploring.
“What Patricia discovers beneath those branches isn’t just botanical knowledge. It's a way of knowing itself.” (This is really our whole brain/body knowing… using both channels of information, not only one.)
“She doesn’t understand the forest by extracting pieces to study in isolation.” (This is the task of the masculine channel- isolating, differentiating, zeroing in, defining. It’s still a valid form of knowing- just not the only one.)
“She learns through participation, through the entanglement of her senses with the living world.” (Here’s the feminine channel of cooperation, networking, seeing the commonality, direct experience.)
Her body itself becomes the instrument of understanding. (This is how we Know both of these aspects Through our own bodies… these two different yet complementary channels of information are working inside each of us, as well as the whole universe, all the time. But we’ve been trained to value only half of ourselves. )
"the mind is not confined to the brain. Instead, cognition arises from the dynamic interplay of brain, body, and environment. How we perceive, learn, and make sense of reality emerges not from the brain alone but from this constant interaction." (Yes, it's us becoming Consciously Whole.)
Thank you for another stunning journey through your own lenses of literature, science/brain info and psychology. It enriches my life.
Thanks for sharing this Rachel!
Thank you for commenting it ◡̈
excellent comment example
https://fragmentsofhumanity.substack.com/p/outrunning-monsters
Judy Wood
May 15
This may be your most impactful essay yet; or at least to me. I shared many lines with a family member going through a tough time right now. When we can learn to lighten our load and lay down the parts of us that weigh us down mentally and physically, only then can we feel still ourselves but liberated and free. Thank you for this.
Another great example of "my favorite so far"
https://fragmentsofhumanity.substack.com/p/bone-deep/comments
Catherine Lombardozzi
Jun 27
My goodness, that first sentence! And: "we master the performance of self-sufficiency, wearing independence like armor." You've captured so well the emotional turbulence triggered when people we love - who love us (or are supposed to love us) - pull away or pass away. I had to pass this one on to a friend of mine who is dealing with the loss of several relationships, and it hit home to me as well. Once again, fine writing and exceptional use of a novel to bring life to the science.
And great example of a quote back comment.
Writing is quite the lonely sport. The community is what I’ve enjoyed most about the various writing courses I’ve been in. When describing my substack to non writers in my extended family who mostly see this as a waste of time when I could be taking a nap I often say it’s like screaming into the void. But every now and then, just when you feel like giving up you hear a scream (comment) back. And that gives you the energy to keep on going.
Thank you Rick for highlighting what is for me the fav part of Substack - the comments section.
Very glad to hear this and to know you find yourself in good company with this practice and process. It's very similar to sharing food, which is of course your "jam". The more we share what we're consuming the more nourishment it delivers.
And here’s a comment on one of my posts that I love. Anything that sparks a discussion is gold!
Link: https://perzen.substack.com/p/butter-chicken/comment/42923288
I chanced upon my own version when I barcecued chicken tikkas but being Asian I made enough for the neighbourhood but only a few drunken folk showed up and, being English, gorged on dry sausages to line their stomachs to drink some more. I was left with a bowlful of perfectly charred chicken pieces. I cried a little. Next day, I made my makhani sauce and added them... Oh my word it was divine. So that's how I now do it (when I can be bothered to fire up the bbq, obvs)
I love comments that describe a process of invention or discovery. It's a reminder of how participating in the victories and vicissitudes of life are what create magic on our path.
And here’s another one:
https://perzen.substack.com/p/derek-sivers/comment/44329986
I actually emailed this post to Derek Sivers and ended up meeting him in Wellington. Perhaps one of my most insightful conversations of my life.
By Diana:
I related so hard when you mentioned the praise of someone complimenting your cooking, but you know all you did was follow a recipe to the letter. It happens to me often, and I always cringe because I don't think I deserve the praise. Like, I didn't develop this recipe, I just made sure to cook the ingredients in the order prescribed. As someone who relies (perhaps over-relies) on written recipes, I am trying to break free from their tyranny and let my cooking be more loose and instinctive.
Loved the essay!
That's incredible about Derek Sivers, holy moly. Curious what the enduring insight was.
I was in awe of just how much he listened and was genuinely curious. I felt very seen.
He seems to be an extraordinary person. I've heard similar accounts of interactions with him.
Rick, you make such an eloquent, well-thought-out case for commenting on the work of others here on Substack. Your own situation – when you took contrary action and made a quick comment, and how it's had such a far-reaching, positive impact – is a super example. And I like the way you deconstruct the various types of comments, in a very creative manner, to help and encourage others to do the same.
I appreciate you – NOT silently!! – and all that you've done, both here on Substack and on Write Hearted.
Thank you Larry, your audible appreciation is a foundation for me here on Substack. Your reliable support is a major twig in the nest of my community. (Ok, well some metaphors turn our better than others.) : )
Rick, the twig-nest analogy isn't bad!
Bottom line: We're here for each other ...
Absolutely.
How could I possibly not comment on such informative and practical tools for commenting? Let this meager comment stand as a comment on how wonderful your Comment Leadership skills are.
Thank you Genie. It's the great writers around who make commenting easy.
Rick, how to respond? With comment type 2: a “Love-This Comment”.
I love this essay and your super helpful list. You’ve tapped into two fears I’ve experienced. First, there’s that hesitation to add a comment in webinar chat box or put my hand up to ask a question.
And then that feeling I often get when I come to an essay after lots of people have left such detailed and eloquent comments and I wonder if there’s anything I can add to match their appreciation. Your essay is such a good reminder that a simple thank you can be just as meaningful to the author.
So, in fact, I’m reaching for comment type 3 as well: this was just what I needed to hear. Thank you 🙏
So glad Simon. I always appreciate your comments, not just on my articles, but what you add to the conversations of other authors as well. You always seem to have an additional point of value to add that's useful and legitimate.
I’m reminded of the early days of blogging, when comments seemed to be much more of the norm. Of course, some of that was dubious attempts to get link back google juice. Comments are returning as the remake the web to be cozy again. This post should be part of an email series to new substack app downloads.
ha ha, thanks Bob. Can you call up one of your buddies in the Substack front office and put a word in for me? With your network of contacts I assume you got a 2nd or 3rd degree separation from somebody over there.
Well, I am a shareholder from their previous crowdfunding round. @cb @hamish let's do this!
I knew you had pull. Let's go!
Gosh, I'm trying to think of (and use) a comment strategy that you haven't illustrated here! XD
There is actually so much inner goodness in this post. It's all about making people feel heard and acknowledged. That is so vulnerable and pure. Given the person you are, I suppose vulnerability (and understanding those emotions) comes easy to you!
We could all do a little more to be like you Rick. Keep inspiring :)
Thank you Ishan. I'm sure there are MANY more ways to comment that fall into other buckets, but just being ourselves and a little less of a darn critic of our own thoughts and expressions is really all we need. The categories were just to provide some ideas for anyone who feels a little stuck.
Relieved to know I’m not the only one suffering from comment anxiety and vowing to do a better job of acknowledging when I get something of value from a writer. Thanks for the encouragement.
Thank you Rob. Even those of us who practice it a lot still face the fear of it sometimes, but with persistence it becomes like a stick in the path that is mistaken for a snake, after a while even though the initial fear comes up, you learn it's safe to step over the emotional obstacle.
Comment anxiety, to a writer, is akin to a reader having a solid gold bar in their hands and wanting to give it to the writer they’ve just read but they’re afraid to. Comments are like gold bars.
I so agree with this. We highly underestimate their value. Thank you Kathy.
Rick, your comment and Kathy's comment on this post "Sylvia" gave me the courage to continue speaking about my faith and telling my story. thank you so much! https://open.substack.com/pub/danaallen/p/sylvia?r=2bjj8i&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
That's so wonderful to hear Dana. Thanks for mentioned the difference this made.
ok, Rick, you definitely are the man of the hour. How is it that you do what you do?? You support us at Write Hearted, you raise a family, make a living AND come up with astonishing work like this?? It never occurred to me to think of commenting in all these different categories . I will be saving this post to refer back to to make my commenting even more interesting and encouraging. Thank you friend, for being so diligent and consistently creative in all that you do. Go TEAM RICK!
That's incredibly kind of you Dana. I'm truly lifted up by this. I think the engaging with so many people here on Substack has been giving me more and more resolve to help and encourage in any way I can. It's comments like this that tell me I can make a difference and once you're feeling that possibility there's a tremendous source of fuel available to do good work, because instead of generating it internally it's being given to you by a community. I'm so glad that you're part of it.
Adjusting my perspective to remember that comments are the feedback I can provide to the author helps. Because, in the end, we are all trying to produce something great that helps everyone grow.
So thanks for this post, it's helping me be braver to comment.
Thank you for stepping forward to offer this comment here Nahiely, I appreciate you courage and I agree, we're all trying to produce what is helpful, so when someone tells us so we get to see where on the right track. So much better than guessing!
I thoroughly enjoy your writing. So thanks for this one. And I hope you get lots of comments as a result. So when they come pouring in, please remember you brought this on yourself!
he he, yes, I needed to remind myself of exactly that sitting down to respond to the comments today. But what a pleasure it is to be able to engage in conversation like this. Thank you for being a reader, subscriber, and now commenter Adam!
You’re so damn organized in the way you analyze situations!
Wait, is that a good thing?
You know how to unpack questions to get to the multiple answers that may apply!
Ah, thanks.
I'm laughing at how well done this post is. I mean who writes about the art of leaving comments and then shares examples of people's artful comments that make your point? You do! Billiant!
Chris, your own comments are always first class. Thanks for being active on this playground with me.
P.S - I wanted to add that aside from all the 'comment categories' fun, your writing on this post is gold! So specific, visual and I want to say... delicious?
A few extracts below:
"participating in the river of the fast-moving chat space"
"the primary reverb I experience today is the deep cellular fear that rising to my best will result in shame and humiliation"
"immediate fear that my comment was going to look like an alien spaceship touching down in the middle of a Tupperware party"
"Relax your idea that..."
I'll admit I really enjoyed the tupperware party line when it popped out. Thanks for your appreciation of the writing.
That's my favourite kind of happy... when I feel the deliciousness of an unexpected phrase I've written or see a part where my colour use or brush stroke feels just right, my 6yr old self feels so self-satisfied.
Well . . . my 60yr old self gets pretty satisfied too, so the good news is, the delight never stops!