The Joy of Commenting
How to be a brave and generous citizen of the internet
Anxious sweat stains were spreading under my arms while my finger was poised over the submit button on my keyboard. I was just one of thousands of faceless attendees watching a two-day webinar. Many of them were participating in the river of the fast-moving chat space. The comments were visible to both the attendees and moderators of the event.
Why was I so nervous?
Because there was something I wanted to say. Something I’d been hovering on the brink of sharing for hours, but was scared of how it might be received, or what others might think.
The comment I wanted to make was a recent win that I had experienced and it reflected positively on the presenters. Imagine being afraid of that?
I ran into a friend yesterday who subscribes to my newsletter and he enthusiastically said, “I read all your stuff, you know!” It sounded as though he was very appreciative of my content, but that was news to me.
So, I said . . .
“How would I? You know I can’t see you sitting at home reading them, right?”
His reply was . . .
“Well, I’ve thought of leaving a comment, but when I look at all the other comments people are making and your replies, they’re just so interesting and articulate, I don’t feel like I have anything to contribute.”
I’ve heard this so many times before, including a recent conversation with another writer about an author we both admire, who hasn’t yet left any visible evidence of her appreciation.
The question is, why do we hesitate to express our joy for skillfully shared ideas and stories?
My recent experience with the webinar gave me more compassion and insight into the dynamic of avoiding public expression. For me, and I imagine for others, we fear that by making ourselves visible we’ll become a target of judgment or criticism.
The problem is, those fears go way back to early traumatic moments in our lives—moments that have little to do with now. But when we entertain them, they prevent us from expressing ourselves usefully, brightly, and freely as adults.
I can remember such a moment.
It was the end of a school day. I was waiting for my mom to pick me up. Thinking I was alone, I relished the reverb of my own voice as I belted out the Star Spangled Banner in a concrete stairwell. The enjoyable delusion that I had operatic potential as an eight-year-old was shattered by the school mates who appeared from around the corner and made merciless fun of me after I had hit and sustained my last glorious note.
Like many of us, the primary reverb I experience today is the deep cellular fear that rising to my best will result in shame and humiliation.
So, the idea of throwing my celebratory comment into the over-crowded public feed in the webinar made me anxious.
The founder of the company and the co-host of the summit were heading into their closing remarks at the end of the two-day event. My last chance to pipe up was about to pass when I finally whomped up the courage to press the “submit” button. I had the immediate fear that my comment was going to look like an alien spaceship touching down in the middle of a Tupperware party.
I tried to calm myself by getting up and changing my soaked shirt, but was shocked when I heard the co-host, in the last minutes of the livestream, pluck my remark out of the mayhem of commentary and point it out to the founder of Mighty Networks, the community building platform that was hosting this event.
I had signed up to use Mighty Networks a few months before this webinar and have been hosting a community using their software.
My comment simply said,
“Hey everyone, what they’re offering here is no joke. It works if you just follow the steps. I’m so grateful to be making a full time living as a community host thanks to this system.”
The comment was no genius perspective or big deal.
I had only followed a rule I created for myself as a reader on Substack.
No Silent Appreciation.
But the downstream effects of leaving the comment didn’t stop at simply being highlighted on the webinar.
The co-host who is the VP of Growth at Mighty Networks, as well as a highly connected entrepreneur and digital leader, invited me to send him a message so we could find time to chat. He wanted to hear more about my community and story.
What followed was a chain of connections that led to being featured as a case study on the Mighty Networks website, invited to actually present as one of the speakers on the very same webinar I was watching, and then further invited to attend a conference where I became certified as a community building consultant for Mighty Networks.
The point is, I felt like nobody in this world, and yet, I had something valuable to contribute. And I wouldn’t have discovered it if I hadn’t exercised the no silent appreciation rule in the form of a comment.
We actively practice this in my writing community, and the impact it has on both the recipient and the commenter was captured beautifully by
one of our members.“Commenting helps crack open the shell we're all encased in in varying degrees. It lets us set down our armor for just a moment and connect to another person in a simple way that is actually far reaching.”
This, indeed, has been my experience.
One of the first comments I left years ago on another author was in response to a harrowing account of trauma and abuse that was sensitively crafted, heart-breaking, and somehow elegant in its depiction of a familial human train wreck.
The woman has a large following, but when I went to the comment section there was silence.
Not a single comment had been left.
I understood why, as I myself didn’t know what could be said to honor the bravery and vulnerability of her story—both the tragedy and beauty in how she framed it for us to witness.
So I wrote,
“I don’t know what to say. I simply want you to know that I was here, I see you, and I feel this deeply. If there were more of this kind of sharing in the world there would be less of this kind of pain. Thank you.”
The author replied with these words.
“That is possibly the kindest comment anyone has ever offered to me.”
Obviously, it had an impact on her, but it may have been a bigger turning point for me. The realization of how significantly I could contribute to another person by simply sharing what was true, connecting even when I didn’t know what to say.
If you’re another reader out there in the Substack world who feels that you don’t have something worthwhile to share, I’ll tell you right now what every writer wants you to know.
You have no idea how much even the simplest comment or reply helps me to keep going from week to week. Even if you just type the words, ‘Thank you,’ into the comment box, your comment always counts, regardless of what you contribute.
Okay, so maybe you’re nodding your head and thinking . . .
“I agree. I really want to contribute, but how? I freeze when I get to the comment section and don’t know what to say.”
Here are some ways to start.
25 Simple Ways to Appreciate Good Writing
Let’s take a look at some real life examples of various comments and break them into categories you can extrapolate from to leave comments of your own.
The Keep It Simple Comment
How to use it:
Offer a few words to let the author know you’re there and appreciative.
The Love-This Comment
How to use it:
Express your love for the article, or something specific within it. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
The Just-What-I-Needed-to-Hear Comment
How to use it:
Simply communicate that the article was well-timed and spoke to a current need you have.
The Notes-and-Impressions Comment
How to use it:
Relax your idea that comments need to be linear or appear as fully formed thoughts. Share some phrases and snippets of feelings or impressions that come up in your mind after reading. They can be short or even poetic.
The Quote-Back Comment
How to use it:
Highlight the words, phrases or paragraphs you most appreciated in the article and quote them back. This helps the author see hidden gems in their writing they might not have registered, and learn what is most useful about their writing. It’s an easy way to give value to the author without having to do too much word-crafting yourself.
The I-Got-Value Comment
How to use it:
Express the usefulness of what you have read.
The Innovative Compliment Comment
How to use it:
Use the feeling of appreciation you have as a creative exercise, challenging yourself to express the author’s strengths in a way they’ve never heard before.
The This-Made-Me-Wonder Comment
How to use it:
Ask a question that came up for you from reading the article.
The Inspired-to-Action Comment
How to use it:
Let the author know they’ve inspired you to take an action, make a change, or do something differently as a result of reading.
The Keep-the-Conversation-Going Comment
How to use it:
Back up what the author is saying by mirroring the idea in your own unique, effective or eloquent way.
The Fellow Practitioner Comment
How to use it:
Leave a comment for an author who has written about a topic that you also know something about, indicating your knowledge of their skill or expertise in a way that could only be endorsed by a peer.
The New Angle Comment
How to use it:
Introduce a further fresh perspective or insight into the conversation.
The Comment Comment
How to use it:
Comment on a comment that was left on the author’s article. This can turn into a conversation between you, the commenter, and the author.
The Further Challenge Comment
How to use it:
Introduce another point of view that the author may not have accounted for or that they missed as a way of adding more depth to the conversation.
The Having Fun Comment
How to use it:
Allow yourself to find a playful way to express your appreciation.
The Endorsement Comment
How to use it:
Support the author by helping them to promote something they do, or something they’ve written by mentioning it publicly in the comment stream.
The What-I-Felt Comment
How to use it:
Describe a feeling you had while reading the article.
The Congratulations Comment
How to use it:
Call out something the author has accomplished or a milestone they’ve reached.
The This-Was-My-Favorite Comment
How to use it:
Let the author know that a piece of writing is the best thing you’ve read from them so far.
The Word on the Street Comment
How to use it:
Communicate back to the author with nice things you’ve heard about them or things you’ve heard about their writing from others that they’d never know about if you didn’t tell them.
The This-Is-My-Experience Comment
How to use it:
Take the subject at hand and describe your own experience in relation to the dynamic described.
The What-Are-Your-Thoughts-On Comment
How to use it:
Segue from something the author has said toward a question, project, or interest you have and pose a question related to the article, but which is directly related to something you’re working with in your own life.
The Personal Hello Comment
How to use it:
If you’ve met the author or are a personal friend then you can leave a comment that is more personal in nature, or which celebrates history you’ve shared together.
The Community Value Comment
How to use it:
Express your appreciation for the writer’s place in the writing eco-system and community.
The Summary Comment
How to use it:
Summarize for a reader who may have skipped or skimmed the article what they can expect to find or take away from the article.
Join the Appreciation Alliance
I’d like to feature your comments instead of mine.
I’ve used examples of comments that I have left or that have been left on my writing because they’re the most accessible to me, but I’d love even more to see some comment examples from all of you.
Help me replace the above samples with exemplary comments that have been left on your own work. Or with comment samples that you have left for others.
If you put them in the comment section with a link to their appearance on Substack, I’ll take the ones I most like and swap your example in to replace mine, and link to your profile or publication.
When you do, I’ll consider you a founding member of the Appreciation Alliance, an informal club of brave and generous humans who believe that the practice of No Silent Appreciation and acknowledging the gifts, strengths and contributions of others can only make the world a better place.
And then I’ll DM you your own Appreciation Alliance member badge.
Obviously if a whole bunch of comments are left here on this post it benefits me directly, and I won’t pretend I’d love that, but truly, my primary wish is that commenting as a practice proliferates far beyond this article and spreads like wildfire across Substack on the work of other authors.
That would be the happiest outcome of all, and you can make it happen.
So go forth and comment!
Join the Appreciation Alliance.
Special thanks to the members of Write Hearted who gave me exceptional feedback (early comments) on the draft of this post.
and .Thanks also is due to the authors who provided the examples used in this article.
.And further gratitude go to a batch of friends and consistent supporters (additionally to those above) who have frequently left wonderful and encouraging comments for me as well as others across Substack. (I know as soon as I send this I’m going to remember someone I should have mentioned. I’m so sorry if you’re one of them and I didn’t name you here. There are too many to track and remember.)
The GOAT commenter on Substack!
“Like many of us, the primary reverb I experience today is the deep cellular fear that rising to my best will result in shame and humiliation.”
This line stopped me. It’s such a precise and powerful truth and one that so many of us carry without realizing how much it shapes our silence. It reminded me of those social experiments that ask people to do something absurd—like lie down on the floor of a busy coffee shop—just to build resilience to social fear. But what you model here, in your daily practice and in this piece, is a far more generous version of that. You're facing the fear not for its own sake, but to connect more deeply, uplift others, and make something useful.
The essay is not only insightful, it’s actionable, kind, and needed. And what struck me most is how the advice you offer is backed by your own story and the living proof of the community you’ve built. The very fact that you could curate such a range of comments from others is a testament to the power of the path you’re inviting us to walk.
Thank you for this. And in the spirit of no silent appreciation, I’ll share a few comments that have stuck with me as well ◡̈