Spot on here. The example of “don’t think of a pink elephant” always serves as a good reminder. When we try to don’t, often times we do.
That graphic is hilarious, btw. At first glance I thought it was a game board. Clue: The Lewis Family version. Rick’s brother did it with the bicycle on the grassy knoll with the willow tree. 😆
Thanks Matt. I was laughing out loud while making that picture because it so brought back the image of my brother's circuitous, but ultimately failed, avoidance. I have to get to work on the board game that would be all about navigating our neurotic brains. Maybe it would have to be named "Clueless"?
Once again, you "hit the proverbial nail on it's head(proverbial) head!" And in such a delightful, funny, life-giving way. I laughed my way through this. Why?
Because I have a "worst-case scenario" mind.
In fact, my automatic, go-to response to any breakdown is Panic. So "don't panic" is NOT a calming pathway for avoiding panic when what I do is panic.
I just can't help it. It's my automatic response pattern.
However, I can catch it. I have committed to becoming aware of it as soon as it happens. Sometimes, I do, and sometimes, I don't. That's my work.
But let's get back to that "worst-case scenario" mind. It, too, is a pattern. It's ingrained. It kicks in automatically, willy-nilly, whether I want it to or not.
I have to say, I have found that the more I am committed to being aware of it (as fast as I possibly can), the more relief I have from its gooey, disgusting tentacles, which are killing my inner peace.
If I take any action on what my mind tells me, I'm in trouble. So, as you suggest, I often share my thoughts with a friend, who gives me all sorts of possibilities for what else could cause the current conditions, aside from what my worst-case scenario mind tells me. Or I consider the possibility that it just could be my reactive mind and see other ways I might ask, or get curious about, or make a request around, that opens up space to find out "what's really so" versus what my mind is telling me is so.
Thank you, once again, for this delightfully belly - laugh fodder for being "honestly human."
Thanks Amba. I had a lot of fun with this one. And it strikes me that your "getting curious" practice is a potent weapon to cut through the personal doom-scrolling of our own brains. Curiosity rules! Glad you got a laugh out of it today.
This made me laugh a lot! But it’s also a great lesson. I think it can also work well with thoughts that you can’t help churning over in your mind. Either talking to someone about them or, perhaps even better, writing about them (you don’t have to share what you’ve written with anyone) can free you from the rumination prison.
I like your twist on the prompt in terms useful ways to work with rumination, especially about a person. But it also made me think, what about writing a letter to a challenging situation? Or a dream situation you'd love to meet one day? It would be fun to personify a circumstance (positive or negative) and address it directly that way.
Wonderful essay! I remember seeing a great video from the body cam of someone coming in for a landing after skydiving or hanggliding or some such. There was a big open field with a single pickup truck in it. Despite their best efforts they headed straight for the truck and slammed into it. Funny, except that they got pretty badly hurt in that case/
Thank you . . . I think. A description you can't unsee, so of course I had to do a search on that incident and it looks painful indeed. Along with my query came loads of other skydiving tragedies. Case in point, just letting those incidents into my head has left me in need of a mental shower to clear my brain of imagining the worst. But ultimately it seems that even the fantasizing about worst case scenarios has the quality of curiosity at its base. We're indeed curious creatures. It's just a matter of taming the direction of our fascination.
What a hilarious story, though I'm sure your little bro wasn't giggling after each "tree encounter."
Your essay reminds me of what the lecturer said in a sports psychology class many moons ago: "If you want to avoid slicing your golf swing, do NOT say, 'I will not slice this swing.' The unconscious mind will only process 'slice.' And guess what happens?"
By the way, your little quiz at the end is a no-brainer. Everyone knows that willow trees are inherently evil!
Thanks Larry. I'm sure this is going to open the floodgates for all the suppressed willow-attack stories that everyone's been keeping secret all this time. : ) Thanks for reading and commenting my friend.
Brilliant! And wonderfully illustrated by your brother (so glad he's okay).
Your article reminds me of the title of a course I once attended as part of my psychology coursework. It was entitled, "Don't think of a monkey."
The first question on the test following the lecture?
1. So, was it eating a banana?
ha ha, yes. your instructor clearly had both wisdom and a sense of humor.
Truly . . . always had us laughing while learning.
Spot on here. The example of “don’t think of a pink elephant” always serves as a good reminder. When we try to don’t, often times we do.
That graphic is hilarious, btw. At first glance I thought it was a game board. Clue: The Lewis Family version. Rick’s brother did it with the bicycle on the grassy knoll with the willow tree. 😆
Thanks Matt. I was laughing out loud while making that picture because it so brought back the image of my brother's circuitous, but ultimately failed, avoidance. I have to get to work on the board game that would be all about navigating our neurotic brains. Maybe it would have to be named "Clueless"?
Once again, you "hit the proverbial nail on it's head(proverbial) head!" And in such a delightful, funny, life-giving way. I laughed my way through this. Why?
Because I have a "worst-case scenario" mind.
In fact, my automatic, go-to response to any breakdown is Panic. So "don't panic" is NOT a calming pathway for avoiding panic when what I do is panic.
I just can't help it. It's my automatic response pattern.
However, I can catch it. I have committed to becoming aware of it as soon as it happens. Sometimes, I do, and sometimes, I don't. That's my work.
But let's get back to that "worst-case scenario" mind. It, too, is a pattern. It's ingrained. It kicks in automatically, willy-nilly, whether I want it to or not.
I have to say, I have found that the more I am committed to being aware of it (as fast as I possibly can), the more relief I have from its gooey, disgusting tentacles, which are killing my inner peace.
If I take any action on what my mind tells me, I'm in trouble. So, as you suggest, I often share my thoughts with a friend, who gives me all sorts of possibilities for what else could cause the current conditions, aside from what my worst-case scenario mind tells me. Or I consider the possibility that it just could be my reactive mind and see other ways I might ask, or get curious about, or make a request around, that opens up space to find out "what's really so" versus what my mind is telling me is so.
Thank you, once again, for this delightfully belly - laugh fodder for being "honestly human."
Thanks Amba. I had a lot of fun with this one. And it strikes me that your "getting curious" practice is a potent weapon to cut through the personal doom-scrolling of our own brains. Curiosity rules! Glad you got a laugh out of it today.
Love it. I’ve been wondering about your brother. What’s his name?
Been sitting here trying to consider what would be the best comeback to this question. Lief? Ryder? Westley? Take your pick.
…willow trees are sad…always weeping…
This made me laugh a lot! But it’s also a great lesson. I think it can also work well with thoughts that you can’t help churning over in your mind. Either talking to someone about them or, perhaps even better, writing about them (you don’t have to share what you’ve written with anyone) can free you from the rumination prison.
I like your twist on the prompt in terms useful ways to work with rumination, especially about a person. But it also made me think, what about writing a letter to a challenging situation? Or a dream situation you'd love to meet one day? It would be fun to personify a circumstance (positive or negative) and address it directly that way.
Wonderful essay! I remember seeing a great video from the body cam of someone coming in for a landing after skydiving or hanggliding or some such. There was a big open field with a single pickup truck in it. Despite their best efforts they headed straight for the truck and slammed into it. Funny, except that they got pretty badly hurt in that case/
Thank you . . . I think. A description you can't unsee, so of course I had to do a search on that incident and it looks painful indeed. Along with my query came loads of other skydiving tragedies. Case in point, just letting those incidents into my head has left me in need of a mental shower to clear my brain of imagining the worst. But ultimately it seems that even the fantasizing about worst case scenarios has the quality of curiosity at its base. We're indeed curious creatures. It's just a matter of taming the direction of our fascination.
Always, always, always expect the best.
Negativity is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don’t hand it the script.
Is this an active practice for you Terri? Do you literally catch yourself mid-fear and turn your attention to better outcomes?
What a hilarious story, though I'm sure your little bro wasn't giggling after each "tree encounter."
Your essay reminds me of what the lecturer said in a sports psychology class many moons ago: "If you want to avoid slicing your golf swing, do NOT say, 'I will not slice this swing.' The unconscious mind will only process 'slice.' And guess what happens?"
By the way, your little quiz at the end is a no-brainer. Everyone knows that willow trees are inherently evil!
Thanks Larry. I'm sure this is going to open the floodgates for all the suppressed willow-attack stories that everyone's been keeping secret all this time. : ) Thanks for reading and commenting my friend.