Two insightful gems, both of which I'll restack as notes:
1. we have individual brains, but there’s also a group mind, and when one person takes responsibility for the public psyche by acting with dignified restraint when another one is acting like a goof—we’re all lifted up.
2. I also believe that if we’re willing to pay attention, we can catch a glimpse of a supremely intelligent weave and order that might otherwise go unnoticed. And that we can tune our perception to the details of our lives in a way that reveals a delightful and instructional show that exists as perfect guidance for our unfolding.
Your reflection at the end of the post has me reflecting as well... perhaps there is an exquiste order amidst the seeming randomness of life that only becomes apparent when we slow down... as you're suggesting, really slow down, enough to notice.
Thanks Chris. That's an eloquent summary of the issue. I like the way you've stated it, but then we also have to define "slowing down." It doesn't necessary mean moving around at a snail's pace, adopting some inauthentic contemplative, monk-like, somnambulant rhythm. It seems to me there is an objective speed for any circumstance we're in, and if we're matching the pace of reality then we get everything we're supposed to get. I'm often aware that I'm going slower than is needed, or faster than is needed, and that's the issue to address. Thoughts?
For me, slowing down has little to do with pace and more to do with presence. I learned this best when watching my brother's Kung Fu master take on six students with ease and a smile on his face. When the teaching match was over he was not even out of breath.
Learning to remain in a calm, fully aware state of being," he told us, "allows us to slow the world around us down so that we can easily handle all that comes at us with grace and ease." He later shared that this was due in part, at least, with learning to slow down one's brain wave signatures from high beta -- where most of us operate from when under stress -- to an alpha brain wave state where presence, keen awareness, and approrpriate responsiveness are at their peak.
I was around him enough in every day life to see that this way of being was also how he drove, walked through a market, or met with wanna-be tough guys who tried to egg him into a fight on the street.
As it once was said to me on a Vision Quest, "You hurry from place to place, never living in the now, constantly seeking an elusive dream that you would not enjoy even if it were fulfilled, for you would be too busy worrying about how to improve it, how to make it faster, and for less money. Oh Brother Man, when will you learn that in all your hurrying you are passing Life by."
A beautiful addition to this conversation Chris, especially your stories about the master. And this whole quote, especially " . . .constantly seeking an elusive dream that you would not enjoy even if it were fulfilled. . ." is right on the mark and perfectly relevant to the discussion. Also the distinction between presence and pace ring true.
This concept of being more present, rather then slowing your speed, is, I think, fundamental. I love the example you share, Christopher, of your brother’s Kung Fu master — particularly how he had the same way of being in everyday life.
I imagine elite athletes, those at the pinnacle of their sports, share this ability — whether it’s a tennis player retuning a rocket of a serve or a fly half seeing patterns of play unfold in their mind amid the chaos on the rugby pitch.
But I’m also reminded of a story I read about Lionel Messi. Apparently, he starts every football match by literally slowing down. He walks around the pitch, studying his opponents. For three minutes, he doesn’t run, doesn’t tackle, doesn’t attempt to get involved in the play. But then, when he does start, he’s learned enough to exploit the weaknesses and gaps he’s seen for the remaining 87+ minutes of the game.
What a gorgeous piece of reflective storytelling, Rick! I laughed out loud at the skeleton in the passenger seat ◡̈
Your line about being accused of looking for ways to extract meaning from the world really struck me. I think choosing to look for meaning—or even just for reasons to be optimistic—isn’t naïve, it’s noble. We’re always assigning meaning, whether we realize it or not. And because our brains are wired to scan for danger, we’ll default to the negative unless we make a conscious effort to look for something else.
So kudos to you for seeing the guidance in the mundane. And thank you for offering this moment of noticing.
Oh gosh Rachel, this distinction between naïveté and nobility is one that I very much needed right now, and will draw upon in the future. This is like a missing puzzle piece that someone just picked up off the floor and said, "Is this what you were looking for?" Thank you for responding with this.
You’re not wrong chao, in fact, that’s probably the likelihood, but who knows? There’s no way of telling from its passing, but from the looks of the eccentricity of the driver maybe he was a retired biology professor who decided not to part with his most prized classroom possession.
Oh so epic these specific and extreme experiences are. Would be hard to conjure up an image of either one had you not experienced and shared both. Love that you shared these.
I’m reaching the point where I believe everything significant or unusual I see is because I want or need to see it.
I needed to meet you as a mind-bending, limitation-shattering example of what it looks like to live life in full, public color.
Hope seeing the skeleton has positive connotation. Maybe, strip life to the bare bones: Love, appreciate, value, give thanks for life itself. Slow down to the speed of love. It’s the only real thing here.
Thanks for opening up my life to larger possibility.
Thanks Kathy. "Slow down to the speed of love." Pranams for this—what a lovely frame to work with. And re the connotations of the skeleton, it landed entirely with joy and a delicious humor that's going to stay with me. Nothing ominous about it.
I really connected to the way you took a simple happening that we all experience all the time and allowed yourself to see something important inside that happening. Well done. No AI could have written this.
: ) I am always amazed when I read you newsletters that are so full of tales about your business adventures that you clearly find plenty of time for personal growth, study, writing, personal expression, and connection with friends. You've clearly figured something out.
I love how you pay tribute to three strangers in your title and conclusion. It feels right. As you discussed with Chao, who knows whether the skeleton was a replica or someone on some kind of extreme diet? It doesn’t matter. He/she impacted your day. Their presence invited you to slow down and be present, at whatever speed you were going. To accept that it was neither too fast, nor too slow. Just what it was.
I think there’s something revealing about how people respond to traffic jams and slow-moving traffic. I often quietly admire the drivers who aren’t in a rush to close the small gap that opens up as the lane in front of them starts to creep forward. Chances are it will stop again after a few yards anyway, so why hurry to wait? That just seems to be a recipe for stress.
How we behave in traffic is almost a kind of personality test. It's sort of like the saying that if you want to know what kind of person someone is watch how they treat their waiter. Traffic etiquette is a similar revealing lens. Who needs Meyer-Briggs when you can just head into rush hour and learn everything you need to know about your character?
This is so sadly true! I've heard it called "recapitulation" which is just a fancy word for learning from your experience because it actually passes to quickly to catch all the gifts that are given in the flow of a moment. Would love to hear anything from your own experience with using writing this way Bandhu.
Well done, as always, Rick.
Two insightful gems, both of which I'll restack as notes:
1. we have individual brains, but there’s also a group mind, and when one person takes responsibility for the public psyche by acting with dignified restraint when another one is acting like a goof—we’re all lifted up.
2. I also believe that if we’re willing to pay attention, we can catch a glimpse of a supremely intelligent weave and order that might otherwise go unnoticed. And that we can tune our perception to the details of our lives in a way that reveals a delightful and instructional show that exists as perfect guidance for our unfolding.
Thank you Larry.
Your reflection at the end of the post has me reflecting as well... perhaps there is an exquiste order amidst the seeming randomness of life that only becomes apparent when we slow down... as you're suggesting, really slow down, enough to notice.
Thanks Chris. That's an eloquent summary of the issue. I like the way you've stated it, but then we also have to define "slowing down." It doesn't necessary mean moving around at a snail's pace, adopting some inauthentic contemplative, monk-like, somnambulant rhythm. It seems to me there is an objective speed for any circumstance we're in, and if we're matching the pace of reality then we get everything we're supposed to get. I'm often aware that I'm going slower than is needed, or faster than is needed, and that's the issue to address. Thoughts?
For me, slowing down has little to do with pace and more to do with presence. I learned this best when watching my brother's Kung Fu master take on six students with ease and a smile on his face. When the teaching match was over he was not even out of breath.
Learning to remain in a calm, fully aware state of being," he told us, "allows us to slow the world around us down so that we can easily handle all that comes at us with grace and ease." He later shared that this was due in part, at least, with learning to slow down one's brain wave signatures from high beta -- where most of us operate from when under stress -- to an alpha brain wave state where presence, keen awareness, and approrpriate responsiveness are at their peak.
I was around him enough in every day life to see that this way of being was also how he drove, walked through a market, or met with wanna-be tough guys who tried to egg him into a fight on the street.
As it once was said to me on a Vision Quest, "You hurry from place to place, never living in the now, constantly seeking an elusive dream that you would not enjoy even if it were fulfilled, for you would be too busy worrying about how to improve it, how to make it faster, and for less money. Oh Brother Man, when will you learn that in all your hurrying you are passing Life by."
A beautiful addition to this conversation Chris, especially your stories about the master. And this whole quote, especially " . . .constantly seeking an elusive dream that you would not enjoy even if it were fulfilled. . ." is right on the mark and perfectly relevant to the discussion. Also the distinction between presence and pace ring true.
This concept of being more present, rather then slowing your speed, is, I think, fundamental. I love the example you share, Christopher, of your brother’s Kung Fu master — particularly how he had the same way of being in everyday life.
I imagine elite athletes, those at the pinnacle of their sports, share this ability — whether it’s a tennis player retuning a rocket of a serve or a fly half seeing patterns of play unfold in their mind amid the chaos on the rugby pitch.
But I’m also reminded of a story I read about Lionel Messi. Apparently, he starts every football match by literally slowing down. He walks around the pitch, studying his opponents. For three minutes, he doesn’t run, doesn’t tackle, doesn’t attempt to get involved in the play. But then, when he does start, he’s learned enough to exploit the weaknesses and gaps he’s seen for the remaining 87+ minutes of the game.
Another fabulous anecdote added to the consideration with the Lionel Messi example.
…i wonder if that qualifies him for carpool…
Of course. You nailed it! Mystery solved!
...i've caught a car full of four mannequins before...beautiful...
What a gorgeous piece of reflective storytelling, Rick! I laughed out loud at the skeleton in the passenger seat ◡̈
Your line about being accused of looking for ways to extract meaning from the world really struck me. I think choosing to look for meaning—or even just for reasons to be optimistic—isn’t naïve, it’s noble. We’re always assigning meaning, whether we realize it or not. And because our brains are wired to scan for danger, we’ll default to the negative unless we make a conscious effort to look for something else.
So kudos to you for seeing the guidance in the mundane. And thank you for offering this moment of noticing.
Oh gosh Rachel, this distinction between naïveté and nobility is one that I very much needed right now, and will draw upon in the future. This is like a missing puzzle piece that someone just picked up off the floor and said, "Is this what you were looking for?" Thank you for responding with this.
I second that. Rachel draws a beautiful distinction.
Love this: "Give this guy a massive hug for having a little bit of patience with someone who was being a sloppy steward of his attention."
Glad you brought these two gentlemen alive and memoralized in this story.
Tiny moments, huge impact...
Thank you Genie.
Ohhh… when I was first heard the story, i thought it was just a replica of a human skeleton - the automatic assumptions I make!
You’re not wrong chao, in fact, that’s probably the likelihood, but who knows? There’s no way of telling from its passing, but from the looks of the eccentricity of the driver maybe he was a retired biology professor who decided not to part with his most prized classroom possession.
Oh so epic these specific and extreme experiences are. Would be hard to conjure up an image of either one had you not experienced and shared both. Love that you shared these.
I’m reaching the point where I believe everything significant or unusual I see is because I want or need to see it.
I needed to meet you as a mind-bending, limitation-shattering example of what it looks like to live life in full, public color.
Hope seeing the skeleton has positive connotation. Maybe, strip life to the bare bones: Love, appreciate, value, give thanks for life itself. Slow down to the speed of love. It’s the only real thing here.
Thanks for opening up my life to larger possibility.
Thanks Kathy. "Slow down to the speed of love." Pranams for this—what a lovely frame to work with. And re the connotations of the skeleton, it landed entirely with joy and a delicious humor that's going to stay with me. Nothing ominous about it.
Cause it’s hilarious. Forget skeletons in closet. Go straight for passenger seat.🤣
What a great concept! “Skeletons on the passenger seat.” 🤣
“Life’s too short to be so invested in speed"
I really connected to the way you took a simple happening that we all experience all the time and allowed yourself to see something important inside that happening. Well done. No AI could have written this.
Thank you Maryan. There are so many "happenings" all around, noticing them is the joy of it all and the heart of storytelling.
I’m similarly starting to understand that more I slow down in life, the more magic I can see.
: ) I am always amazed when I read you newsletters that are so full of tales about your business adventures that you clearly find plenty of time for personal growth, study, writing, personal expression, and connection with friends. You've clearly figured something out.
I love how you pay tribute to three strangers in your title and conclusion. It feels right. As you discussed with Chao, who knows whether the skeleton was a replica or someone on some kind of extreme diet? It doesn’t matter. He/she impacted your day. Their presence invited you to slow down and be present, at whatever speed you were going. To accept that it was neither too fast, nor too slow. Just what it was.
I think there’s something revealing about how people respond to traffic jams and slow-moving traffic. I often quietly admire the drivers who aren’t in a rush to close the small gap that opens up as the lane in front of them starts to creep forward. Chances are it will stop again after a few yards anyway, so why hurry to wait? That just seems to be a recipe for stress.
How we behave in traffic is almost a kind of personality test. It's sort of like the saying that if you want to know what kind of person someone is watch how they treat their waiter. Traffic etiquette is a similar revealing lens. Who needs Meyer-Briggs when you can just head into rush hour and learn everything you need to know about your character?
A skeleton as a passenger sounds the biggest distraction of all, Rick. I wonder what the story was there?!
It would be a fun writing prompt all in itself wouldn't it Wendy? It's hard not to wonder.
Unpacking experience is an essential skill that is not taught in school.
This is so sadly true! I've heard it called "recapitulation" which is just a fancy word for learning from your experience because it actually passes to quickly to catch all the gifts that are given in the flow of a moment. Would love to hear anything from your own experience with using writing this way Bandhu.