Rick, youβre inspiring to us all. Rewriting and re-wiring is how we donβt suffocate from our prior existence. Much like a snake must shed its skin to survive, we must shed skins too. And many of our stories are old skins.
Love this comment James, especially the idea of suffocating from our prior existence. Wow, that's evocative and motivating to do the work. Who would want to be caught inside the airless plastic bag of their limits?
With deep love and appreciation, I am blessed by the way you share this principle. I am blessed by your story. I wish I could write as well as you! (Though I know it's nonsense to think that way...you just got a glimpse of my mind!)
Yes. We all live in our stories all of the time, and some, which have gone underground, must surface, thank God, or else they will run our lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all of us who benefit from your being and your writing and your heart for being so willing to be "honestly human."
May we all ferret out those debilitating decisions we made when we were young that still, unbeknownst to us, have their grip on us, particularly those that somehow keep us from making the contribution we are here to make.
When I shifted my own story (when I was twenty-seven years old) from "My father is out to control me, dominate me, and manipulate me" to "All my father wants to do is contribute to my happiness," I gave myself a new life, a life worth living. And a Future of my own choosing was born.
Thank you Amba for being so generous with your support. It means a lot to me. And also for the additional tangible example of what a story re-write looks like in the example of your father view. We need these specific examples to spark each other to see our own limiting frameworks. Yes, I of course share the wish that we all ferret these things out, but life seems to do a good job of letting us know what needs to be worked with and when. I think sometimes these limiting beliefs/stories/ideas are relatively benign, and might just be even eccentrically endearing, but in other cases, they're truly damaging to our own and others' well-being. If we started by just not ignoring the debilitating decisions that are actively and clearly harmful, that would be great. At least that's my personal goal, and there's plenty of grist for the mill in that department alone. I appreciate your comments as always.
Rick, SO much good in here, hard to pick a favorite part or line. I love pieces of writing like this that helps us remember moments from our childhood and then the version of it as an adult or parent, when youβre in the heat of the kitchen, and you forget the simplicity in the childβs calling. No agenda, no entitlement, maybe just hungry for some raisins.
The sound of those cabin screen doors is unmistakable. I really enjoyed those descriptions. Makes me sad that was a sound that was once positive thing and later became something different. Thanks for sharing my man. Great writing!! π
Thank you Matt. Love your "heat of the kitchen" turn of phrase. Wish I had thought of that when writing this piece. I'll have to make sure to get you on the front side of drafts for help picking up such threads. And I agree on the value of the shared (especially childhood) stories, as they do help spark memories and opportunities to work those unconscious views or limits we carry around.
The courage to live a new story through rewriting an old one. Youβre an example to us all in your honesty, bravery and generous leadership. Asking for help is scary because it seems like an admission of failure, whereas the opposite is true: itβs an invitation to success.
I would love to see any of your own stories on this theme Simon. You're really good at making these core distinctions. "Asking for help is not an admission of failure, it's an invitation to success." This would be a great essay title, or you could just share that single line to Substack notes.
Life itself is scooped up out of the woods and presented here just with words.
Really moving.
βI sure wish I had some raisins!β reminded me of Opie Taylor on the old Andy Griffith show. Your voice was precious. All of our voices want to come out and play like yours, Iβm thinking.
The picture of innocence in a busy, complicated hurting world wants and needs to come back out.
You've got this, brother. Thank you for being the one to plant a flag in the sand (which is no small feat) and saying, "For those who resonate, we rally around this flag. Right here. Right now." Without you, this cohort would not exist. You have allowed us to rally around what is now OUR flag of creativity. Again... Without you, this would not have happened. We are here with you.
And look at you . . . totally changing your old story and creating a new one with a community of people around you . . . one that serves you and everyone in your writing community. Congrats to you and all of you involved in writing new more powerful stories for yourselves.
Heck ya! I'll take this hearty boost and endorsement for the work we're doing. Much appreciated reflection and encouragement! Community is a never ending ripple outward where any one person's mood and actions have an affect on others. So we're a form of intentional community, on a mission to make a positive impact on the world.
β¦offer still stands if you ever need an ear or an ideaβ¦it is equal parts awe and awful how much our emotions can fold and unfold usβ¦took me so much practice and unpracticing to just find the 5% of me i needed to even think about my 99% (and yes I am a full 104%)β¦
Thank CansaFis. Fortunately this in good measure a retrospective account, and having been plunged into the high necessity to work with the issue has presented a lot of grounding and progress with managing it. But yes, still interested in chatting with all 104% of you.
Rick, this is such a beautiful, courageous, stunningly articulate illustration of how, when it comes to old, worn-out internal stories, reality is perception; these usually-limiting stories are based on how we internalize a given experience, not about the experience itself. Itβs sad that something like βYou should never ask for helpβ got locked in for five-plus decades.
As someone struggling with a bubbling cauldron of old stories, old lies that seem to be seated in me at the cellular level, this is an inspiring reminder.
On the writing front, I was impressed with your vivid mult-isensory descriptions: the door was βcoated with years of airborne bacon grease.β The convincing thwack sounded βlike a movie clapboard at the start of a Hollywood take.β ββ¦ the sweet smell of the eternally composting forest floor mixed with pine, and whatever was cooking on the grill in the camp kitchen.β ββ¦ the steaming deck where the morning moisture was now rising in waves of ascending mist.β I could list about a dozen more.
As someone who often (well β¦ usually) struggles with βplace,β with setting, in my own writing, Iβm beyond impressed. Keep doing this, and Carson may very well be correct: Random House may be calling.
Thank you Larry. It's scary sometimes how much our perception changes reality. I often wish I did not have this power of it and it could just appear to me as it is, because what I do with it so often imprisons it in the past. My Bubbling Cauldron of Old Stories is an essay I'd love to see from you.
I think James said it better than I ever could. This was inspiring Rick. I think many of us seek glory in our past, but the future is so thrilling because it is unwritten; we can write it however we want. This piece gave me renewed hope for the future :)
Such a powerful expression of shame and the power it can wield over us far beyond early experiences. I was right there with you as a little boy and felt all of this. Well done!
Thanks Rachel. Gosh yes, it's a little dizzying to observe the force field of shame in oneself and feel helpless to do anything about it. But there is a way through I'm discovering, it just takes repeated efforts and time.
Thank you for the reminder that there is more support than I perceive. I think that is true and I'm just starting to develop the ability to see and trust that it's there. I've been slowly thawing to its presence over time due to the expressed communications from friends like you. I'm very grateful.
Rick, youβre inspiring to us all. Rewriting and re-wiring is how we donβt suffocate from our prior existence. Much like a snake must shed its skin to survive, we must shed skins too. And many of our stories are old skins.
ππππ
Love this comment James, especially the idea of suffocating from our prior existence. Wow, that's evocative and motivating to do the work. Who would want to be caught inside the airless plastic bag of their limits?
Yes. This. Theyβre boa constrictor skins.
With deep love and appreciation, I am blessed by the way you share this principle. I am blessed by your story. I wish I could write as well as you! (Though I know it's nonsense to think that way...you just got a glimpse of my mind!)
Yes. We all live in our stories all of the time, and some, which have gone underground, must surface, thank God, or else they will run our lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all of us who benefit from your being and your writing and your heart for being so willing to be "honestly human."
May we all ferret out those debilitating decisions we made when we were young that still, unbeknownst to us, have their grip on us, particularly those that somehow keep us from making the contribution we are here to make.
When I shifted my own story (when I was twenty-seven years old) from "My father is out to control me, dominate me, and manipulate me" to "All my father wants to do is contribute to my happiness," I gave myself a new life, a life worth living. And a Future of my own choosing was born.
Thank you Amba for being so generous with your support. It means a lot to me. And also for the additional tangible example of what a story re-write looks like in the example of your father view. We need these specific examples to spark each other to see our own limiting frameworks. Yes, I of course share the wish that we all ferret these things out, but life seems to do a good job of letting us know what needs to be worked with and when. I think sometimes these limiting beliefs/stories/ideas are relatively benign, and might just be even eccentrically endearing, but in other cases, they're truly damaging to our own and others' well-being. If we started by just not ignoring the debilitating decisions that are actively and clearly harmful, that would be great. At least that's my personal goal, and there's plenty of grist for the mill in that department alone. I appreciate your comments as always.
Rick, SO much good in here, hard to pick a favorite part or line. I love pieces of writing like this that helps us remember moments from our childhood and then the version of it as an adult or parent, when youβre in the heat of the kitchen, and you forget the simplicity in the childβs calling. No agenda, no entitlement, maybe just hungry for some raisins.
The sound of those cabin screen doors is unmistakable. I really enjoyed those descriptions. Makes me sad that was a sound that was once positive thing and later became something different. Thanks for sharing my man. Great writing!! π
Thank you Matt. Love your "heat of the kitchen" turn of phrase. Wish I had thought of that when writing this piece. I'll have to make sure to get you on the front side of drafts for help picking up such threads. And I agree on the value of the shared (especially childhood) stories, as they do help spark memories and opportunities to work those unconscious views or limits we carry around.
The courage to live a new story through rewriting an old one. Youβre an example to us all in your honesty, bravery and generous leadership. Asking for help is scary because it seems like an admission of failure, whereas the opposite is true: itβs an invitation to success.
I would love to see any of your own stories on this theme Simon. You're really good at making these core distinctions. "Asking for help is not an admission of failure, it's an invitation to success." This would be a great essay title, or you could just share that single line to Substack notes.
Oh myβ¦β¦β¦
Life itself is scooped up out of the woods and presented here just with words.
Really moving.
βI sure wish I had some raisins!β reminded me of Opie Taylor on the old Andy Griffith show. Your voice was precious. All of our voices want to come out and play like yours, Iβm thinking.
The picture of innocence in a busy, complicated hurting world wants and needs to come back out.
innocence for a hurting world. . . . gosh yes. it's something we can do isn't it?
Yesβ¦.
You've got this, brother. Thank you for being the one to plant a flag in the sand (which is no small feat) and saying, "For those who resonate, we rally around this flag. Right here. Right now." Without you, this cohort would not exist. You have allowed us to rally around what is now OUR flag of creativity. Again... Without you, this would not have happened. We are here with you.
As you know you are a deeply appreciated voice of support that I lean on Skip. Thanks for being there in all ways.
Anytime Rick. My absolute pleasure.
Brilliant!
And look at you . . . totally changing your old story and creating a new one with a community of people around you . . . one that serves you and everyone in your writing community. Congrats to you and all of you involved in writing new more powerful stories for yourselves.
Heck ya! I'll take this hearty boost and endorsement for the work we're doing. Much appreciated reflection and encouragement! Community is a never ending ripple outward where any one person's mood and actions have an affect on others. So we're a form of intentional community, on a mission to make a positive impact on the world.
β¦offer still stands if you ever need an ear or an ideaβ¦it is equal parts awe and awful how much our emotions can fold and unfold usβ¦took me so much practice and unpracticing to just find the 5% of me i needed to even think about my 99% (and yes I am a full 104%)β¦
Thank CansaFis. Fortunately this in good measure a retrospective account, and having been plunged into the high necessity to work with the issue has presented a lot of grounding and progress with managing it. But yes, still interested in chatting with all 104% of you.
Let's get together, Rick... I'm coming over on the ferry soon... I'll bring the raisins.
Lovely PJ. A big yes to that!
Rick, this is such a beautiful, courageous, stunningly articulate illustration of how, when it comes to old, worn-out internal stories, reality is perception; these usually-limiting stories are based on how we internalize a given experience, not about the experience itself. Itβs sad that something like βYou should never ask for helpβ got locked in for five-plus decades.
As someone struggling with a bubbling cauldron of old stories, old lies that seem to be seated in me at the cellular level, this is an inspiring reminder.
On the writing front, I was impressed with your vivid mult-isensory descriptions: the door was βcoated with years of airborne bacon grease.β The convincing thwack sounded βlike a movie clapboard at the start of a Hollywood take.β ββ¦ the sweet smell of the eternally composting forest floor mixed with pine, and whatever was cooking on the grill in the camp kitchen.β ββ¦ the steaming deck where the morning moisture was now rising in waves of ascending mist.β I could list about a dozen more.
As someone who often (well β¦ usually) struggles with βplace,β with setting, in my own writing, Iβm beyond impressed. Keep doing this, and Carson may very well be correct: Random House may be calling.
I sure as hell wouldnβt be surprisedβ¦
Thank you Larry. It's scary sometimes how much our perception changes reality. I often wish I did not have this power of it and it could just appear to me as it is, because what I do with it so often imprisons it in the past. My Bubbling Cauldron of Old Stories is an essay I'd love to see from you.
I think James said it better than I ever could. This was inspiring Rick. I think many of us seek glory in our past, but the future is so thrilling because it is unwritten; we can write it however we want. This piece gave me renewed hope for the future :)
That's good since you have so much of it ahead of you!
So moving, Rick... can't wait to read your next book
he he, thanks for the nudge. Just send me that list of introduction to all your Random House connections. I'm ready to go.
Maybe they'll call you!
: )
Such a powerful expression of shame and the power it can wield over us far beyond early experiences. I was right there with you as a little boy and felt all of this. Well done!
Thanks Rachel. Gosh yes, it's a little dizzying to observe the force field of shame in oneself and feel helpless to do anything about it. But there is a way through I'm discovering, it just takes repeated efforts and time.
Wonderful story⦠I swear I could smell those woods and that kitchen.
Love it when a story makes it over the digital divide into a friend's senses Bob. Thank you for the note.
This one gave me chills. So proud of you and honored to be going on this journey with you.
You've been on the front lines of that support system Alex. Much gratitude for your help and good company.
Beautiful, brave and bold, Rick. These are your qualities that you have imbued this essay.
You have got this. And you have lots of people who are closer and more willing to help than your brain might be thinking!
Glad you have a clean bill of health. Time to connect to what you need most: connection
Thank you for the reminder that there is more support than I perceive. I think that is true and I'm just starting to develop the ability to see and trust that it's there. I've been slowly thawing to its presence over time due to the expressed communications from friends like you. I'm very grateful.